The Art of Saying No: An Exclusive Excerpt From Organize Your Life
âTo succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.â ~Mark Twain
The Art of Saying No To the Good
I once heard my fellow co-author, Jack Canfield, say, “If you want to be successful, you will have to learn how to say ânoâ to the good so you can say âyesâ to the great.” That really triggered some deep, palpable emotions for me as I realized I was saying âyesâ to a great many things for reasons that were not necessarily empowering to my circumstances. Saying ânoâ can be daunting; we want to please people, we feel as though we are letting others down, or perhaps we fear that people will not like us if we start saying âno.â
The word ânoâ often triggers a host of emotions. We recall being denied as a child or the rejection that came when we made a sales call. The word ânoâ is something that the wealthiest, most successful people on the planet use on a daily basis, and if we want to be successful, then saying ânoâ must become a part of our regular vocabulary. The wealthy understand that ânoâ is not often personal; it is merely a matter of a quick assessment â will saying âyesâ to this get me closer to my goal? If not, the answer is âno.â
People who struggle in life tend to say âyesâ to the wrong things. They say âyesâ to must-see TV when they fully understand that their family is feeling neglected. They say âyesâ to, âDo you want a second, or third, helping?â when they know they have weight to release. They say âyesâ to, âLetâs go out for drinks tonight,â instead of doing the sales calls they know they should make.
Your life right now is a result of what you have chosen to say âyesâ and ânoâ to. If you want a different result, then it is time to start saying, ânoâ in a graceful, tactful and deliberate way.
In the previous chapter we discussed the questions:
- Does this move me closer to my dreams?
- Does this take me further away from my dreams?
- Does this allow me to dream?
If you want an easy way to assess saying ânoâ to something, then ask the same questions.
I am often asked for my time for a variety of reasons. I used to say âyesâ to every request because of my perceptions that I would let people down if I wasnât always available. What ultimately happened was that I ended up resenting all of the commitments I had made; at the heart of the matter, I was disappointed in myself for saying âyesâ to so much. When I truly began to value my time and stepped back to take a moment to ask myself the key questions from the previous chapter, things began to shift. Today, I do say âno,â and although it sometimes feels a little bit challenging, at the end of the day, I understand that my time is ïĴnite. I create space to do more of the things that take me toward my dreams by saying ânoâ to those things that are only so-so.
The more successful you become, the more people will ask you for time, money and all sorts of things. You may be struggling ïĴnancially right now, but that is a reïĴection of what you have chosen to say âyesâ to, and by no means is that an excuse to not say âno.â If something does not take you toward your dreams or allow you to dream, then ânoâ is perfectly ïĴne. For example, letâs say a friend has a âmake money quick scheme,â and you realize in your heart that it doesnât feel right. Although the allure of up front money may be tempting, you would only be saying âyesâ for the wrong reasons. You might feel that perhaps you would be letting down your friend if you do not get involved, or there might be the seduction of quick money without really giving thought to how your short-term actions may affect your overall life.
Saying ânoâ requires being bold, assertive and trusting your gut. It also illustrates an individual who is clear on their goals, values their time, and is happily setting boundaries. Furthermore, ânoâ for now does not mean ânoâ forever, and in this chapter, we will learn the art of saying ânoâ and how to graciously create boundaries that will free us up to do more of the things that shape the life we want to live.
Susan Sly is a best selling author, speaker and entrepreneur. She has appeared on CNN, CNBC, Fox, Lifetime Television and the CBN. Susan is the mother of five children and resides in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Organize Your Life Â
Does your âto-doâ list keep you up at night? Do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and ineffective? Do you struggle to generate the results you know you are capable of in your health, finances and relationships? If so, you are not alone. Bestselling author⢠Susan Sly believes that the number one enemy of success is lack of organization. For years, she has been teaching the Organize Your Life techniques to students all over the world and now brings you these strategies in this simple to- follow book.
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This book will teach you how to:
- Break down your day into productive
five-minute blocks. - Accomplish more with less effort
- Find greater balance in your life
- Â Lose overwhelm once and for all.
- Become highly effective.
- Use the 5 Principles to structure your
day and your life.
Susanâs clients and students have used the Organize Your Life techniques to generate more income, get healthier, find their dream job, attract more clients, and even heal their relationships.