Are you fully satisfied with where your life is at right now? And I’m talking every aspect of your life. Your health, your relationships, your business, your money. And chances are the answer is, “No.” We all have areas of our life that we either feel could be a little bit better, or a lot better. And this week’s topic, I was inspired. I was away over the weekend with some girlfriends. Once a month in 2020, it’s been my goal that I get away for just one night and reset, because I feel like during the week, being the CEO of three companies, I’m just going, going, going, and a mom and a wife. And so, I was away at my reset night, and the next morning I was just in prayer and meditation. And I’m always, “How can I add value on Bulletproof Monday? What can I do to really serve this amazing community?”
What came to me was to have this discussion around our standards. In our life, we want more, and we set these goals. We’re going to make more money, we’re going to get more organized, we’re going to have a better relationship, we’re going to find our soulmate, we’re going to lose weight, we’re going to healthy. And we start, but then we don’t finish. And we tell ourselves all of these excuses, “It’s too hard, I don’t have the time, I don’t have the support, I’m not capable, it’s easier for other people”
How many of you have done that, right? It’s not a confessional, or maybe it is. And the reality is, we often give up too soon. And here’s the the thing I want to tell you, if your life isn’t where you want it to be right now, chances are you’ve either lowered your standards, or you are not setting standards that are in alignment with what you say you want. Now, I want you to think about this. When we first get married or we start dating it’s so romantic. There’s lots of hugging and kissing, and everything, and I love you. It’s like you’re texting, “I love you, I love you.” And you’re DMing the person, “I love you, I love you.” And you say it before they leave in the morning, you say it right after work. And then, a little by little time goes by and those daily I love you’s three times a day, turn into once a day, turns into once every other day, turns into maybe once a week, and then suddenly one or both of the partners are feeling neglected.
The same is true in business. You start a business, and you’re on fire. You’re telling everyone about the business. Or you’re doing a startup and you’re getting investors, you’re telling everyone. And you’re not judging anyone. You’re like, “This could be my next investor. This could be my next client.” And you’re maybe having three to five of those conversations a day. And then just when you get some traction, so many of us have this program we run for self-sabotage. Just when you start to get that traction, then it turns into one to two conversations a day, and then it’s one to two conversations every other day, then it’s maybe one to two conversations a week, and then one to two conversations a month. And you wonder why you’re not getting new customers. You wonder why you’re not getting investors. When we start with high standards, write this down if you’re taking notes, we get high results. But when we lower our standards, we lower our results and we never get our goals, but we always get our standards.
If you’re new to Bulletproof Monday, my name is Susan Sly. I am an entrepreneur. I am a startup founder. I’m an author of seven books, and I am a CEO, a tech investor and a mom of five kids. Bulletproof Monday is one of the things that I do in my week just to serve all of you. It doesn’t matter if you never take a course with me or come to an event or anything, but if you show up and you get one thing that you can do to help you become a better business owner, a better partner, a better human, than that’s all I ask. And if this show is helpful, I would love for you to share it. Share it live, or share it after. I come in and I read all of your comments.
I want to get started with these eight standards. And there are eight standards that when you begin to raise them… And it doesn’t even have to be massively raise them, it could just be raising them a little bit. When you begin to raise your standards, you raise your results. And there are eight standards that you can hold yourself to that will literally change your life in a very positive and productive way.
One of the things I also want to share is, speaking of standards, my once annual event, Only4Days, which is an event that focuses on helping small business owners and founders how to market, market in their social media, market in their advertising. I bring in the best of the best in the world in these fields, and we teach you how to market. We teach you the mindset of success, and then you apply it at the event. So you learn for about 90 minutes, you apply it for 90 minutes, you learn for 90 minutes. It’s not one of those events where you leave with a page full of notes and a phone full of slides that you never look at again, and you wonder, “Where did those four days go?” My event is not like that. It will never be like that. So you can check it out, only4days.com. Tickets right now are $797, they should be really $2,000, but they’re only $797. It’s April 16-19. You definitely want to get a ticket. I would love to see you there, I’d love to work with you.
Anyway, let’s get into these eight standards. If you’re a subscriber on my list, I send you the show notes every week. I actually have a person who takes all of my notes and turns them into text for me, and you will get that. You can go to susansly.com and get on my list. I’ll send you the show notes. Let’s talk about these standards.
The 8 Standards That Will Powerfully Change Your Life
The first one is the standard of daily exercise. And some of you are like, “Susan, are you serious? You’re talking about exercise?” Maybe someone’s in Edmonton, and they’re like, “Its -40 here, how can you be talking about it?” Well exercise, studies show, helps to boost your mood. It’s a natural antidepressant. You’re going to sleep better. It even boosts your drive. It boosts your ability to focus, it helps to lower stress.
So if you want to make more money, and you want a juicer life, why wouldn’t you want all of those things? Where people don’t exercise, is they say, “Well, I don’t have time,” or, “It’s too cold, or whatever.” I will promise you that we can all make time. You could be watching the newest episode of Homeland and doing sit ups on a yoga mat, instead of sitting on the sofa and eating guac and chips, right? You could be listening to your favorite podcast and going power walking or running, or getting on an exercise bike, or doing something.
The standard of exercise will change your life. Often in a show, I’m very raw and real, so some of you that I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease a few years ago. There are nine different forms of Lyme, I had four of the forms, and it got so bad. Just being in rooms with bright lights was too much for me. I was in bed a lot of the time, I was nauseous a lot of the time. I had tremendous weakness, and honestly it was really depressing because I had been this professional athlete and this amazing badass woman, now suddenly it was very humbling, I have to tell you.
Even on my worst day, I made myself go outside and walk. This is a person who used to do the Ironman Triathlon, and I came eighth in the pro division with a fractured pelvis, who suddenly is out there walking. And I remember one day I said to Chris, “Will you walk with me?” because I was worried I was going to fall over. We walked for five minutes and I was exhausted, and we came home, but it was that standard. Ever since I was 11 years old, I have held myself to the standard of exercising six days a week. And some days exercise is a hot yoga class. And some days it is a run. And some days it is a power walk. And some days it is literally doing weights in my home office. But I move my body every day, so I can go and move people every day. Does that make sense? Hopefully it does.
The second standard is the standard of daily education. If you’re putting crap in, you’re going to put crap out. If you’re the person who wakes up in the morning, and the first thing you’re doing is scrolling your phone, you can say, “Oh, I get my Bible verse on Instagram,” or, “I see Wayne Dyer quotes on Twitter and that’s like…” No, it’s not going to change your life. What is going to change your life is starting your day with other prayer, meditation, and then reading for 10 minutes. Brendon Burchard, I’ve done speaking events where Brendon’s speaking, I’m speaking. Tim Ferriss, so many of us, we start our day with prayer and meditation, and then we read something.
I like to read physical books in the morning for about ten minutes, then I listen to audio books, and I listen to podcasts. When I’m out running, I’m listening to podcasts. When I’m in my car, if I’m not on a call, I’m listening to either Joel Osteen or I’m listening to Dave Ramsey, or I’m listening to Tim. I’m listening, listening, listening. And if you listen to my show, I know many of you do, it’s in 92 countries in the world. Whatever it is that you’re listening to, it has to fill your well, because you cannot give from a well that is empty, you absolutely cannot. And then finishing your day with something.
Education isn’t something you do once in a while, it is a daily habit. And once you get into that habit, it will change your life. Do you know the average person who works, spends four years of their life in their car? Four years. And if you think about that, you could get a virtual degree in four years. And you could have people like myself, people like Tony Robbins, people like Dave Ramsey, people like Gabby Bernstein, whoever it is, you could have us teaching you, lifting you up. When Tony Robbins was broke and he had his little apartment, and he was doing dishes in his bathtub, he read 700 books, because he looked at himself in the mirror and he was so sick of what he saw, he knew that if he didn’t make a change, nothing was going to change.
I too, have read hundreds of books. People say, “How did you go from homeless, bankrupt, multiple sclerosis, single mom, divorced, to becoming a self-made millionaire?” And to date, I have mentored over 40 people to become millionaires. And so, how do you do that? It’s because I don’t wake up and scroll my phone. I put the wisdom of people who’ve gone before me in my mind, before I can go and give. And some of you are there and you say, “Susan, how do I motivate people? How do I mentor people?” Well, stop scrolling your freaking phone first thing in the morning and get your head on straight. That’s how you do it. You cannot expect to have your life changed because someone posted a motivational quote that they made with Word Swag on freaking Instagram, okay? It’s not going to work. It’s not going to change your life.
What you do on a daily basis, that habit, that standard, the standard of daily education. Start with ten minutes a day. Just make it your standard. And some books, some speakers, I might not even be your speaker, they’re going to be resonate with you more than others, but as this becomes your standard, it’s incredible what begins to happen.
I was asked to endorse a book a few years ago by a New York Times Bestseller, so they wanted me to be one of the people who endorsed it. And I looked at the book, and it did not resonate with me whatsoever. And I was like, “Oh, I’m not feeling it.” Anyway, the book still went on to be New York Times Bestseller, and I didn’t pick it up until recently. And now, I love that book. And I’ve got to reach out to this person and say, “I’m really, really sorry.” It was the place I was in at that moment. It wasn’t the message for me. And I always feel that if three people mention the same book to you, it’s something you really need to read. If you want recommendations, ask me in the thread and I’m more than happy to do that.
The next standard is the standard of immersion. Your income is going to be directly related to the five people you spend the most time with. Years and years ago when I was coming back from bankruptcy and putting my life together, I had just had it one day. I was listening to this call every Thursday night, it was like a call in. It was like this, but you had to physically call in and pay long distance. And I was listening to this particular speaker and I said, “Someday, I’m going to know them personally.” And then I said, “You know what? Someday I want to be a millionaire.” I was a millionaire on paper at 24, and I lost it all. There’s a whole different mindset to being a millionaire on paper, so you have $1 million dollars in assets. You could have a $3 million home, and a $2.8 million mortgage including a second, and you’re a millionaire on paper, but you’re not a millionaire. To someone like myself, who earns over $1 million a year. It’s a different thing.
And I said, “I’m going to have the names of seven people, their names and phone numbers. I’m going to know them personally, who make over $1 million a year.” And I did. And guess what? When did my life begin to turn around? When the person I had on speed dial, or the person I could text, or the person who I could email and ask advice, was a person who was creating and achieving at a higher level than I was. Does that make sense?
So now, I’m very blessed by the grace of God. I have a couple of friends, they’re friends, who literally are billionaires in different verticals. And I feel so grateful. And one of them is going to be speaking at an event that I’m co-hosting, and he has an amazing story. Completely self-made billionaire. He’s worth multiple, multiple billions. Do you think that it would change the course of your life, if you changed the people you hung out with? And changing how you’re immersed. And that’s why events… You can come on this Facebook Live, and listen to me on audio, and I might impact you someway. If you spend four days with me, I’m going to impact you a lot. When you go to an event, and you’re immersed in the event, and the distractions are away from you, that’s when change happens.
Number four is the daily standard of a positive attitude. This is the toughest one. It’s so hard to be positive all the time. And so, as I was writing this standard, and I think this whole piece of work could be a book, I was like, “Oh my gosh, what are you going to tell them?” Because I know some of you are thinking, “My roof caved in, and the creditors are calling, how can I be positive?” I’m not talking about that kind of positive. It comes down to just a few key things.
Anyone I know who has achieved an income of over $1 million a year and sustained it, their positive attitude looks like this: So number one, they think there’s always a way. They aren’t the person who is like, “There’s no way around this.” They would be like Marcia calls me up and she’s like, “Susan, I’ve got two weeks to figure out how to pay my mortgage.” I’d be like, “Marcia, there is always a way.” Because it’s a different type of thinking. That’s number one, they always think there’s a way.
Number two is that positive people always know they’re capable. We’re all divinely equipped with amazing gifts to change our life, change our circumstances. You’re equipped with being able to… If you don’t have a budget, go to the library, get personal development, go on YouTube, watch something, do what you need to do to fill your well. Positive people, they know they’re capable.
The third thing is that positive people have an abundant mindset. And that’s a standard. A lack standard says, “There’s not enough to go around.” An abundant standard says, “There is more than enough to go around. There are more than enough life coaching clients for Kim Freese. There are more than enough contracts for Jessica. There are more than enough clients for Marcia. There are more than enough people for Bruce to take on wine tours. There is more than enough.” It is above and beyond anything we can physically imagine, and all we have to do is work. We know faith without works is dead.
And that’s the thing. There is an abundance that when we’re in alignment… And if you’re a subscriber to my list on susansly.com, I made a special video this past week just for you. I had more people write in this past week about that dang video. And I just think it was so raw and real, and I was talking about I got out of alignment and then all this stuff happened. I got myself back in alignment. With my startup, we just signed a major deal this past week, which is incredible. All this amazing stuff happened because I put myself back in alignment. I was way out of alignment. And it happens. So that standard of a positive attitude, that’s the fourth one.
Number five is the standard of discipline. The standard of discipline. What the standard of discipline says is that, I am going to be disciplined in my daily habits. That means I am going to clean up my office every night. I am going to pay my taxes on time. I am going to… If I say, “I’m going to blog daily,” I am going to freaking blog daily. If I’m going to connect with three prospects five days a week, then I am doing three every single day, whether I want to or not, because I’m disciplined.
I was in an investor meeting this morning and I said, “There are two things I look for in a company.” I sit on an advisory board for a group here in Phoenix called Coplex, and it’s a startup incubator. I need a lot of founders. I need founders who have gone on and had very successful exits. Hundreds of millions, and so on and so forth. And then, I need people who never get their startup off the ground. And I said, “What I look for in a team are people who are disciplined.” So if there’s a professional athlete, if there’s someone who has been in the military and served 5 to 10 years, or if there’s someone who has another form of discipline, so they’ve already had a successful exit, they know how to get it done. So, three things I look for, it’s that discipline.
When you raise your standard of discipline, it’s amazing how your life changes. I never leave the house without the bed being made. The bed is made, it looks like it’s out of a catalog, because it freaks me out if the bed’s not made. It’s a standard of discipline. My desk, my office, I have two offices, both offices are pristine, if you’ve ever been there. It’s a standard. It’s how I conduct my life. And when you have the standard of discipline, you create certainty for your prospects, for your clients, for your investors. People want to do business with people who create certainty. Being on time is a standard of discipline. Does that make sense, everyone? All right.
The next one, number six, is the standard of loving. The standard of loving. And the standard of loving says, “You treated me like crap, and I don’t like you, but I love you.” And I learned a very long time ago from a friend of mine, her name was Cynthia. She said, “Susan, you can love someone, but it doesn’t mean you like them.” And I was going through a lot of stuff with my mom. My mom passed last summer. She had different demons that she wrestled with, and it was a really tough relationship, and not always a safe relationship. And when I realized that I could love her and not have to like her, or like her decisions, it gave me this incredible freedom.
I’m a very loving person, and there are people who have said terrible things about me, that’s okay. If you say what I don’t do… If what I do doesn’t work, then do it for a year, and if you don’t get results, like everything I say, then maybe you’re right. I don’t know. There are people who don’t like Dave Ramsey, they don’t like Joel Osteen, they don’t like Tony Robbins, whatever. It doesn’t matter. The standard of loving says, “I’m going to love the critics, because I learn from them. I am going to love the people that hurt me because they’re teaching me how not to be. I am going to live the client who left my business, or left my down-line, or left my company. I’m still going to love them because, the standard of loving creates this place for us.” That like attracts like, and the more loving we can be with others, the more loving we’re going to be with ourselves. The more we’re going to attract love into our life. It’s a standard.
And it doesn’t just apply to the people who are easy to love. Anyone can love someone who is lovable. Can you love someone who is not lovable? This woman put this Facebook message and she was like, “You say, ‘I love you,’ all the time, you don’t know what love is, and how can you say that?” And I thought about it and there were so many things I wanted to say. And what I said to her is, “I love you.” And I do. I love that she’s so freaking tormented, because what pain she must be in to be so critical of my love. I love her enough to keep loving her even though she’s a critic, right? Because she probably needs more love. People who are unloving need more love than people who are just loving all the time. It’s a standard.
Number seven is the standard of adding value. This is adding value to people, adding value to situations. You want to be that person who adds value to the lives of others, and not keep score.
Not this past weekend, the weekend before, I was out running. I’m running along, and I think I did 9 1/2 miles, and so, I’m running along. I always pick up trash in my neighborhood, and I’m not a saint, okay? There are certain things I’m like, “Please God, don’t let it be a big beer can.” And sure enough, the moment I pray that, it’s like one of those big beer cans. So I’m running along, and on a 9 1/2 mile run, I’m not running super fast. It’s going to take me an hour and a half. So, I’m running along, and I’m picking up trash, and picking up trash, and then there was a piece of trash that I was going to run by. And then I ran past about 10 feet, then I go back and I pick up the trash. You could just imagine if you ever see me running, I’m running along with all this stuff.
And then I go, and my hands are full, and I’m about to run past another piece. And I’m like, “Oh, it’s okay, Susan, you picked up all this trash today. You’re a good person. Whoopdy do.” And then I thought about it, and I went back 30 feet, I grab this trash and this small voice says… which I believe is God says, “Susan, the trash represents people’s lives. You can’t walk past a person when I’ve given you this gift to empower others. You can’t walk past one person just because it’s inconvenient.” And I went, “Ugh.”
Some of you are walking past great prospects because you think they’re too broke, or that you think they don’t need what it is you have. You’re walking past amazing people who could be building teams for you. Who could be business partners, who could be doing all these things, because you’re judging them. What makes one person more valuable than the next? Nothing, nothing. Nothing makes one person more valuable than the next. Getting into the standard of adding value to people every single day.
Sometimes I spend a lot of time preparing for Bulletproof Monday, and I’m not going to kid you, I see numbers that might be, X number of people at one point and then it drops down. And it’s easy to go, “Well, some of them aren’t staying, and I guess they’re not going to add value.” That’s okay. I’m here to serve the people who stay, who’ve put this… like Bruce, on their radar every single week. And the people on my list who get these notes, because they want to take what it is I’m teaching, and go out and add value to other people. I’m human too, it happens, but this is one of the ways I add value.
The eighth thing, and this is the final standard, is the standard of integrity. Being impeccable to your word. It was written about in The Four Agreements. The standard of integrity says that, “Tannis I’m going to be on a call with you at 8:00, and if my kid is vomiting, I’m going to message you and say, ‘My kid is vomiting, I’m going to be late.'” The standard of integrity says that if I am asked to show up and bring my A game, like I was in this investor presentation this morning, that I’m going to get my butt out of bed extra early so I can get my workout done, get my hair looking good, get my makeup on, suit up, show up, be ten minutes early, and bust it out. So when I leave there, I know I did everything I could.
The standard of integrity just means that I am my word. What that does is it allows people to trust me, trust you. When you have the standard of integrity, you’re that person when people say, “I want to business with someone,” you’re that person, because you’re not flaking out. You’re not all over the map. You have integrity. Integrity also means that what you promise is delivered. And not just delivered, it is delivered in a certain way that adds even more value than you promised. The standard of integrity says when someone is emailing you, you email them back. You get back to them. You figure out ways to communicate. That’s what integrity is.
The thing I’ll say in closing is these eight standards can absolutely change your life. Raise your standard, you raise your results. And as I said in the beginning, we don’t get our goals, we get our standards. Many of you who’ve been tuning in all year, so far, you know I had 594 goals at the beginning of the year. Over this past weekend, I actually checked I think another six of them off. Why? Because as I raise my standards, my results are shifting, what I’m achieving is shifting. With that, God bless. If you want the show notes, go to susansly.com, get on my list. I will send you this week, probably around Thursday. And I would love to add value to you.
If you’re thinking about Only4Days, and you have a business, I would love to see you there. It will change your life. Imagine us working together for four days, and my keynote trainers, Jeffrey from JR Garage, millionaire at age 16, he’s now 20. Dr. Diane Hamilton, bestselling author, she wrote The Curiosity Code. We’re going to work together for four days. It’s going to be absolutely incredible. So, with that, God bless. Go rock, rock, rock your day. I will see you next Monday. If this has been great, put a comment, share it, like it, do whatever. Lots of love, and be here next Monday. Bye everyone.